Lovely Thoughts
by Blaysers
Summary: Hiroki is going over the edge. Trying to keep his head together he loses it and is saved by a certain seme we all know and hopefully love. Will probably add the other couples. WARNING: This will not contain major lemon and their will be human suffering for the ukes. Please read and review. This is not like the show/manga, so don't expect things from me. Not as corny as it sounds.
1. Chapter 1

"If you don't have any desire to die, I suggest you back away from that ledge." a tall man with black hair said calmly to a shorter brunette.

"And If I do?" the brunette asked.

"Your loved ones will suffer." the man said coolly. The gloomy brunette threw his head back and roared with laughter. His laughter rolled across the building tops. The taller man winced.

"What loved ones?" the shorter one asked rubbing away a tear of laughter, smiling sadly.

"Surely somebody cares?" the man asked. The shorter of the two shook his head smiling.

"Nope. They've all gone somewhere I can't see them." the man replied. "Besides, I always wondered what it would be like to die."

"What about me?" the taller man asked. "I'll suffer."

The shorter brunette looked in confusion. "N…no you won't." he stated.

"Yes I will. Every morning I wake up I'll remember you. Remember how I couldn't save someone before they came to this. Don't do it." the man said.

"Who are you?" the other questioned.

"Nowaki." he replied. "And who might you be?"

"Hiroki." the other responded.

"Well Hiroki, why don't you come with me? I'll love you." Nowaki said walking towards Hiroki with an extended hand.

"No. I won't become your burden." Hiroki stated bluntly.

"You'll never be a burden. Trust me, you don't want to do this." Nowaki told him. Hiroki stared at the hand and hesitantly reached for it. He placed his small hand in the much larger one. It was warm, so very warm. Nowaki pulled the other into a hug and slowly backed away toward the door. Hiroki drowned himself in the warmth, allowing this man to see him in his moment of weakness. Maybe, life really was worth living.


	2. Chapter 2

**Just so you know, this is not going to be very similar to the series or manga. In this one, nothing happened between Usami and Hiroki. There's the crush of course but nothing has ****_happened_****. I changed the ages a little too because I really like doing things like that, so please do not be confused. Remember, this is supposed to be nothing too similar to the show. **

It had been a few days since Nowaki had saved Hiroki from himself. Since then, Nowaki hadn't come to see Hiroki. Nowaki had dropped Hiroki off at his house and said he would come to visit him the next day. He never came. Hiroki, age 25, had never felt so alone while lying down on his roof and staring at the starry sky. He had pushed all suicidal thoughts out of head and once again became Kamijou the Devil. He swore to himself that he would never feel that way again. He ashamed of himself, that he had ever come to that. He swore to himself that he would never surrender himself to the feeling that made him feel weak.

'I hope that I never see him again.' He thought, but knew he was only lying to himself. He closed his eyes, letting the cold air cling on to his skin. 'I feel betrayed.'

"Hiroki, you on the roof again?" A voice asked from below him. Hiroki rolled over on his stomach and dragged himself over to the edge and peeked over. Usami Akihiko was standing a few feet in from his door and was staring up at Hiroki.

"Get down." Usami commanded, but jokingly said. "Gonna jump?" Hiroki glared at Akihiko, but slid down the pole that connected to the roof. When he reached the ground he brushed off the dust that coaxed its self all over the front of Hiroki's shirt.

"What do you want?" Hiroki demanded his brow furring.

"I brought you a new book." replied Usami. He pulled a book out his bag and handed it to Hiroki. Hiroki stared at the cover. "A True Collection of Suicide Letters." Hiroki felt his heart sink as he thought of his own attempt at suicide. He had certain urge to throw the book and grab the razor from his bathroom.

'Stop this.' He commanded himself. 'You need to get over this No more thoughts like this.' Usami stared at him intently with confusion.

"What?" Hiroki commanded. Usami reached out and gently touched Hiroki's cheek with his finger. When he brought his hand back, a single tear rested on his finger. Hiroki, ashamed of himself, handed the book back to Usami and ran into his apartment. Usami knocked on the door.

"Open up!" He shouted once, but gave up all too soon. Hiroki made his way to his bedroom and collapsed in the bed. The voices started in his head again.

"_You ugly person, thinking such things. The only reason that man saved you was because he doesn't want anyone to have to clean up the mess you'd make if you ever did die. Just give up already. What's the point of you meaningless life? You have no one. No one. They all died because they didn't want to see you anymore. They crashed the car on purpose so they wouldn't have to live with the shame of ever having you. The only reason you Uncle come to see you it hurt you. He hates you for what you've done. You're nothing but a little….."_

Hiroki wouldn't let it finish. He got up and started throwing the books on his shelf at the wall.

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut!" he screamed as he threw a book at the lamp next to his bed. He stormed through the house shouting shut up and throwing the many book that piled up in house al the walls. The voice yelled back at him.

"_Worthless. Worthless. Worthless!"_

The bell rung and both the voice and Hiroki stopped. Hiroki made his way to the door and unlocked it slowly. He sighed and opened it.

"And who might you…" Hiroki started but stopped. "N…Nowaki?"

**What did you think. It may be a little boring right now, but I'll do my best to get better. I'm not really planning this trough. Whatever idea that pops into my head will usually be used. If you have any ideas, please do tell me them and I'll do my best to see if I'd like to use them in the story. I was thinking of using the other characters from the show, but I will probably be mostly focused on this one since it's my favorite. :p Probably won't be using Shinobou or Miyagi, and if I do they'll be totally different from their original characters so chill out. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for the reviews. Please enjoy. Sorry for any possible errors. **

* * *

"N...Nowaki?" Hiroki asked in confusion. Nowaki smiled at Hiroki.

"Sorry for not being able to come over. I had a lot of work to do at the hospital." Nowaki said smiling. "I heard you screaming. Is everything alright?" Hiroki was speechless for a moment but quickly came back to action.

"Yes. Everything is perfectly fine. Would you like to come in for a cup of tea?" Hiroki asked as he turned from the door and walked into the kitchen, inviting Nowaki in. Nowaki walked into the small living room. Every where he looked books stacked themselves high, some stacks almost reaching the ceiling.

"I'm guessing you like to read." Nowaki thought aloud.

"Ya. Got a problem with it?" Hiroki demanded.

"No. I think it's kinda cute." Nowaki whispered softly.

"Cute? Now, that's absoultly absurd." Hiroki said as he made his way into the living room with two cups of tea on a tray. He set them down on the table and sat down, Nowaki copying the act. They sat in complete silence for a little while.

"So, your a doctor?" Hiroki questioned with a angry tone.

"A doctor in training." Nowaki said in calm voice.

"I see."Hiroki said."How old are you?"

"24." Nowaki anwsered sipping his tea."What do you do for a living?"

"I'm a teacher." An akward silence crept upon them again. Hiroki sipped his tea again. He looked Nowaki over underneath his hair. He was quite hansome.

"So..." Nowaki asked.

"So what?" Hiroki asked.

"Why were standing on a ledge a few days ago."

Hiroki looked down. "I think you need to leave."

"Why?"

"Get out."

"Why?"

Something fell to the table. A tear.

"There was no reason in particular."Hiroki whispered.

"You said something about you family." Nowaki said.

"It doesn't matter to you. It shouldn't matter at all." Nowaki slammed his hands on the table and stood up on his knees.

"I told you I'd love you. Don't you remember? In order for that to happen, I need to know about you. I need to know why you went as far to almost take your own life."

Hiroki stayed queit for a few minutes. "They died."

"Figured as much. How?" Nowaki asked.

"Car crash. They crashed into another car when I was a teenager. Killed four adults, and two kids."

Nowaki sat back down. "I'm sorry."

"Why am I even telling you this." Hiroki asked himself. "Wait, I don't need to tell you anything. Get out!"

Nowaki stood up. "I'll leave for today, but I will be back. I promise I will not leave you. I will love you for all time."

"Why?" Hiroki asked. "What's the point of doing that?"

"Because everyone need to be loved. And let's just say, you're very easy to love. When I come back again, I want to know everything there is to know about you. Everything." Nowaki told him.

Hiroki felt a shiver go down his spine, but not an unpleasant one. Nowaki opened the door and walked our. Before closing the door he whispered.  
"Love you Hiro-san." The whisper was so queit that Hiroki could barely hear it. Hiro got up and went to bed. He snuggled his face into his pillow.

"I'm loved." he whispered, blushing. "I'm loved."

* * *

**Sorry that this one wasn't very good. I was sorta rushing it. The next one is probably going to be about Misaki and Usagi. Sorry that the charcters never seem similar to the original ones. Well, a fanfiction writer has to have fun every so often. Keep reading and please leave as many review as possible. Love ya guys!**


	4. Chapter 4

Misaki stood over the counter, frying Octopus wieners for Usagi. He let himself become entranced with the fumes of meat and closed his eyes. It took him a little while to acknowledge the arms that had wrapped themselves around him.

"Usagi, not right now." Misaki said coldly.

'_What's up with his voice? Aw well, it probably wasn't anything.' _Usagi thought to himself. He brought Misaki's face close to his and was about to kiss him when he noticed Misaki's eyes. They shook with fear that he was so desperately trying to hide.

"Misaki, what's wrong?" Usagi asked.

"The foods gonna burn." Misaki said as he turned around and went back to cooking.

'_What's wrong with him?'_

* * *

**Alright people, hate me as much as you can. This is just a quick little chapter. I have other things to do right now, so please just try to enjoy this little thing I wrote. Please review!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Got another quickie. Something to keep you occupied while I work in the next Hiroki/Nowaki one. Idea's welcome. **

* * *

The room was silent, other than the sound of food being eaten.

'_I am going to get to the bottom of this.' _Usagi thought to himself. Misaki got up with his plate and walked to the kitchen.

'_Here's my chance.'_

Usagi got up and swiftly made his way to kitchen, unnoticed. As Misaki started washing the remaining dishes, Usagi grabbed Misaki from behind and turned him around for a tight embrace. He pulled Misaki away from him and started kissing his neck. His hand played at the end of Misaki's shirt.

'_That's odd. Why hasn't he said anything yet?'_

He pulled his face away from Misaki's neck and was about to kiss him when he stopped suddenly. Misaki's trembling fingers clenched to Usagi's sleeve and tears glided down his lovely cheeks.

"Misaki, what's wrong?" Usagi commanded, worriedly. Misaki looked down and pushed Usagi away.

"Absolutely nothing, just don't touch me." Misaki said darkly and he walked away from Usagi. Usagi grabbed Misaki's arm.

"What did I do?" Usagi asked.

"Nothing, it wasn't you at all."Misaki whispered, his back facing Usagi.

"Then who was it?" Usagi demanded.

"It was nothing. Besides, I don't want to talk about it." Usagi turned Misaki around.

"Then why were you crying?" Usagi insisted. Misaki pushed Usagi away, only to be grabbed once again.

"Can't you trust me?" Usagi questioned. Misaki nodded.

"It's nothing to be concerned about."

* * *

**Hahaha. I left you all with a cliffhanger. Sorta. Going back to Hiroki and Nowaki. Just don't have the patience for this couple. Please tell me some idea's you might have. Read and Review. Please. **


	6. Chapter 6

Sorry everyone, but I haven't been inspired to keep writing this story. I might start writing it again when I'm actually depressed, but I am far too happy to keep writing this.


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry people for not writing this in a while. I wasn't depressed and I'm still not, but I shouldn't stop a story because of that. Well, here's a hopefully longer chapter on Misaki and Usagi. Enjoy and please excuse all mistake.**

* * *

Two days had passed since Misaki had refused to be touched by Usagi. Since then, Misaki had been avoiding him and had even stopped eating dinner with him, instead taking it to his room. On the morning of the third day, Usagi couldn't take it anymore. Misaki was cooking breakfast and Usagi woke up in a foul mood. Not having his refill of "Misaki" had left him cranky. Misaki heard a door swing open and Usagi dragged himself out of the comforts of his room and into the hellish silence of the living room. Sitting down on the couch, he raised his arms above his head. Misaki walked over with a plate of food and a cup of coffee and placed them on coffee table. Just as he was turning to go, Usagi grabbed his hand and pulled him down on his lap.

"You can't avoid me forever, you know that," Usagi whispered with deadly chill in his voice. "What's wrong? Stop keeping things to yuorself and talk to me."  
Misaki kept his down and tried to get up.

"Your not going anywhere." Usagi hissed. "I won't let you."

Misaki remained silent and looked away, eyes disappearing behind a swamp of brown locks.

"Please talk to me. At least look at me?" Usagi pleaded.

"I don't want to talk to you." Misaki said, voice cracking. He then raised his head smiling. "How about I make you some octopus hot dogs?"

"Misaki, don't change the subject. Besides, you've already made some."

"O..oh. Well, I'll make you something really delicious tonight. I'll even add in some bell peppers." Misaki said smiling.

"Why are you suddenly smiling? You've been mopy for the past few days," Usagi asked." Do you really think smiling is going to make not worry about you?"

Misaki looked a Usagi with a smile that never seemed to reach his eyes.

"I'm perfectly happy. I've just been cramming for a test lately. Sorry if I seemed a little distant lately." Misaki apologized.

"I don't believe you. You know, your a horrible liar." Usagi stated.

"I..I'm not lying." Misaki stuttered.

"Please Misaki, tell me. I love you."

Misaki flinched. He looked down at his lap and twiddled with his fingers. Misaki started shaking.

"Promise you won't do anything rash?" Misaki asked, looking away.

"I can't promise that, but I'll handle it to the best of my abilities," Usagi answered. "Just tell me what's wrong."

"On my way to school a couple says ago, I met your brother" Misaki said smiling. Usagi automatically stiffened. "He asked me why I was walking to school and I told him it was because you were tired and I wanted you to get some sleep instead of driving me to school. He offered me a ride, but I refused because I only had five more minutes to walk. He got out of the car and grabbed me. He threw me into the car and hand cuffed me to the door. I tried to cry out, but nobody came. He drove me to some cheap motel and then took me to one of the rooms. He said he wanted to talk to me..."

"And then what?" Usagi asked, knowing how it was going to end but praying to god he was mistaken."

"He did nothing that had to do with talking." Misaki said quietly, smiling hysterically. Fingers playing with each other in a crazed way. "He...he decided...he wanted to...do "it" with me. I tried to run away, but he handcuffed me to a near by bead post and he..he...he..."

Misaki stopped talking and started sobbing, a smile still plastered to his face and his eyes opened wide.

"He raped you?" Usagi asked. Misaki nodded and looked away in shame. Usagi got up and went to the door, leaving Misaki on the floor. He was just about to opened the door when he felt a tug at his sleeve. Usagi swerved his head around and saw Misaki holding onto his sleeve.

"Don't go." Misaki said. Usagi stared at him and sighed.

"I'll be right back." Usagi said as he started opening the door. Usagi's brother stood in the door way, arm raised and ready to knock. Usagi saw red.


	8. Chapter 8

**So, I just reread my story and I have to say something. It's f*cking horrible. Especially the latest chapter. I am switching back to Hiroki and Nowaki again. Hope you read the next chapter. I will do my best to actually put some effort into this.  
**


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